home sweet home...

Cant believe i hav long deserted my blog for like nearly 5months neh...hehe lazy to update ar...plus ntg special n interesting in my evday life other than eat, sleep, study, perhaps a little shopping or watching movies during da weekends....dats all....ntg special....so do not update often....hmm....bac in bintulu ady...doin ntg at home other than being a couch potato....waiting for @joy to cum bac...haiz....stil a long way to go neh....it seems dat both my laopos r having finals neh....so who's in btu at da moment?? guess i hav to spend my holidays at home...hehe...reading novels is kinda bored n tiring at times esp if u read like da whole day....watching too much telly will only make u feel more tired n lazy....plus im totalli outdated ady...no idea wad's da latest showbiz gossips...if u ask me to watch dramas, its like i hav to start in da middle of nowhere n struggle to put together the broken fragments to get a flowing storyline...lol plus some dramas r still on n it's aired like even be4 i left...now im bac n it's stil airing...wad type of dramas will be dat long other than my mum's all time favourite - hokkien dramas...OMG....its like reaching 200++ episodes n my mum is still following every episode of it..if u dare to touch da remote during her 'tv' time, u better watch out..lol she will nag u to switch to her channel although it's commercial break...duh....dun understand...reali siao ar...so long n lo-so as well....haiz....k la....too much on my complains...gtg...:)

in a mess

PAP was over but i can feel my whole life was in a mess....lots of topics to catch up, reports piling up n i can feel myself out of breath every now n then....cny is juz two days away but exams are around the corner as well....n i can feel da tension building up in me dat im afraid that i cant hold it any longer....im on da verge of breaking down...there's sumthing other than studies dat bug me dat i can feel myself going crazy anytime right now...n im aware of dat....so now da only thing i can do is to get control of my messy life n most importantly my emotions....constantly reminding myself to get grip of myself, nvr slipping away n be brave....wil hav to get back on my feet asap n will take dis cny break as a transition point...there wil be no turning back...

mv shooting....

s

so here i am, tired AGAIN....yesterday was like going around setapak till 2pm....woke up at 6am...im tired as a dog ....n today, i went for a cny mv shooting....woke up early again..my whole body aches..feel like shattering...mv shooting im toking bout here is not wad u think - breath-taking views, high-tech production cameras, huge crews....nah, it's juz a shoot for our hostel cny activity wif a small mini production crew- a group fo less than 10? camera? erm typical cameras, not da one u hav to put on ur shoulder like u hav seen in any 'the making of..'.....though tired, but i think it's great...n fun....hehe....we shoot at titiwangsa lake there...then a playground sumwhere around....wif ppl jogging around, taichi-ing, n walking around...it's kinda weird n embarassing to be making a scene there..wif many pairs of eyes looking...get me real self-conscious n nervous hehe..but later, get used to it n dun giv a damn bout it..haha...we play around and reali enjoy every bit of it....gosh, im not going to elaborate more on it..im juz too tired to tap my fingers on da keyboard..will be having another shoot at1pm....but kinda anticipating the music video after they finish editing it...i think it will be great...hehe k..til then..tata

reflection...

sumhow,i reali feel dat the lyric of this song is written for me...hehe...it partly reflects on wad im thinking at times....

满园玫瑰我以为找到我那一朵
认真爱了却狠狠刺伤我的双手
责备什麼人也没有用
玫瑰都红 难免看错

望著天空爱是否活在童话裏头
小王子说有些事流浪过才会懂
原来每颗心都有个洞
找不到真爱 会一直寂寞 Oh--
我但愿有一个人在等我
在属於我的612星球
好让我忍著痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦
一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱著我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快 请你等等我
擦乾眼泪一个人漂流在这宇宙
小王子说爱一定开在某个角落
路上相爱的人那麼多
我会幸福吗 在什麼时候 Oh—

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属於我的612星球
好让我忍著痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦
一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱著我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快 请你等等我

p/s: i hope im not givin da wrong info dat im so desperate, okay..hehe..im emo-ing again....cant sleep ba....

sleepless nights....

as i expected, i couldnt sleep a wink last nite.....sleep at around 2.3o am doin pap thingy then woke up at 6.30 am for lectures....who knos we dun even hav any class for dis whole week...2nite, i dun think i can sleep oso..my brain is overtly active probably becos i hav a lot of things in mind..hav to finish off many things.but anyway though tired, my team managed to finish one task in a night..im vvv happy..but still, there r 3 more tasks to do neh....2molo morning hav to practise dancing at 9am..nt sure i can wake up a not....i cant sleep neh..can anyone club me at my head to get me to sleep???....my brain is super exhausted but sumhow it couldnt stop working...i miss home esp during nights like this....getting bac here makes me real tired....i hate my life here..not lonely becos of no frens but i juz feel that sum part of me is missing...

traumatised....

went to times square today..n im super tired...accompany my frens to buy their dresses n shoes for coursenite....aduh..my body aches here n there especially my legs...scared my legs will becum 'lobak' legs....my leg muscles will get bigger n bigger if walk like dis evryday...after i get out from da monorail at imbi station, an 'angmo' lady kept on shouting for her handbag...kena ragut...haiz...realli curse dat guy....y wan to steal from other ppl...of course there r sum heros trying to help but i think dat culprit managed to escape...she fell when she was trying to chase for her handbag..i hope she was not hurt neh...guess all her passport n money was in her handbag....haish...realli terrible a....god, please preserve me frm all those bad ppl...i promise i will be a good girl owez though im one oledy....muahaha...n touchwood...i dun wan anything bad to happen to me.......my parents will be damn worried....haiz..v scared to go out neh...n hopefully tonite no nightmare..me v 'kiakia'....

xiangxiang...

xiangxiang...hehe my rummate's name...her name is xiang yi..but i prefer call her xiangxiang..she's so pissed off at first..but now she gets used to it neh..haha..she owez "rang" me one..hehe(in english, she gives in in wadever i say o do n end up spoiling me...hehe)dun think she will read dis post la ho..hehe if not she will kill me neh..lol xiangxiang is sleeping now hehe...she went bac in da morning n she cleaned our rum..so when i arrived,hehe da rum is clean clean..(told ya she spoils me..lol) so, da only thing i do is juz to unpack my things n put them in place..my rummate v good ho..hehe...unfortunately, 2nd yr we r not goin to live together neh..she lives wif her gang ba..sobsob how can she abandon me like dat...lol....haiz i start complaining ady...i think being my rummate is super kolian...here's my list y i say so:

1. i owez grumble n nagnag when im unhappy o stressed..poor xiangxiang has to listen to my naggy(those who knows me will let me nag cos after i complain a hell lot..i will be okay hehe)
2. my rummate has to tahan me being "manjamanja" hehe..sumtimes i get sotsot..duno which screw gone loose n i will start ehem.."sa jiao" duno wad's it in english...lol
3. i can be super quiet n oso super chatty....but i will only be v noisy when im tired le,say like after studying..so im da other way round..when im in da normal mode,im quiet hehe..but of course depends on who's da other person im wif...im v distant n aloof among strangers..actuali im scared to be honest hehe...but sum ppl may mistaken me to be v icy,cool o proud...argh dun care la..i cant control wad ppl think bout me neh...i only kno dat once da ice is broken, i can be vv close..juz like how i stick to my laopos hehe...mwaksmwaks

in conclusion, xiangxiang spoils me n i dun mind to be spoilt hehe though she is one yr younger than me...but i oso do stg in return wad hehe...sumtimes i will sing songs to her using little kids' voice.....i will oso force her to sing barney song wif me..me v bad ho lol..but dis other side of me can only be seen by my rummate hehe...no one else can..lol.....lup u o,xiangxiang....mwaks....hehe